Dreaming of a White Christmas (in November)

Hi, everybody! It’s been a long while since I last posted, and my heart has missed writing, so here’s a little update on how I feel:

So lately, I have been in a very Christmas-y mood, and I find it to be pretty strange. It started right before Halloween, constantly talking of the holidays and how excited I am for some of my favorite things: the fuzzy socks, the different colored leaves, the cardigans, the blankets. These are all things I anticipate all year, every year. This year in particular, I’ve actually been most excited for the actual holidays: staying up late Christmas Eve to pack the hidden presents under the tree, smelling the house fill with the aroma of all of the food on Thanksgiving, the dressing up to go out everywhere. This has never happened to me before. Although I have always been a big fan of the holidays, in which my favorite kicks the season off at the end of October, Christmas has just always stressed me out since I was an early teen. With no reason in particular, it just did. This year, that stress just is nonexistent. And I’m pretty sure it’s not because Christmas is still over a month away, or because I’m more than halfway done with my Christmas shopping.

I think it’s because this year is the very first that I’m not expecting anything for myself. One of the only two things that I really want this year is a new bed set, and I already know that my dad is getting me one. The other is much more expensive, so I’ve already decided I’ll work for it instead of asking anyone for it. And I’m completely okay with it; I’m actually not feeling bad for myself or anything. These past couple of weeks, I’ve been in such a good mood and I realized it’s because I’m super excited to give everyone else their gifts.

I am not really a selfless person, but I mean no one truly is, right? Right? I love receiving gifts, sure, but I definitely find a greater joy in seeing other people’s faces light up when I give them something they have wanted or connected to. And I have always been very into personalizing presents; I’m not a fan of generic gifts whatsoever. I never have been, for as long as I can remember. And for me, most of the fun of Christmas shopping is finding those things that mean something to those I love, and giving them a little piece of themselves or token of our relationship. I also actually have this goal just about every time I buy or make someone something, and I personally believe it’s the key to giving a gift. The goal is to make the receiver smile or cry (but usually cry). And I mean to have a genuine smile, of course—I think everyone has seen the fake smile at least once before in that situation, or has even given that small, toothless grin that screams you had one job and you failed, but thanks anyway.

Christmas as a kid was always about who gets you what you really wanted, and I don’t know what had changed about me this year. Maybe it’s all those Disney movies I’ve been watching lately. Nostalgia seems to always truly get the best of me. Especially Disney.

Or maybe it’s the fact that I’m growing up, unlike my good friends chilling in Neverland. Either way, I’m pretty happy that my usual stressed-out self is not currently around (and boy do I hope i’m not jinxing myself). Christmas is supposed to be about giving and family and friends and love and laughter and all of that stuff in Love Actually, so if you see someone dancing to Jump For My Love by the Pointer Sisters, that might just be me. If you don’t understand that reference, you need to watch Love Actually, and if you refuse, we can no longer be friends.

Anyways, let’s enjoy these last weeks of 2015. It’s been a long ride full of ups and downs, but the only way to end it on a good note is to remember that the holidays are about the cheesy things in life. Do not—I repeat DO NOT—take your family and friends for granted. They are truly the most important thing at this time of year. Even if you’re not talking to someone you love, you can still either try to make things right or just keep them in your hearts. Think about good memories, and look forward to making more. Wear your feet pajamas and watch the 25 Days of Christmas with kettle corn and hot chocolate. Remember that giving is more important than getting. Also: remember that love, actually, is everywhere.

Happy holidays, friends.

Eternally Yours,

Posted by

A twenty-two year old who lives through words and her Netflix account. She makes herself laugh more than others, and she claims that she is okay with that.

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