This year, I happen to have more than one resolution-of-sorts. They are more like promises to try to better myself. This past year has been dull for the most part, and I’m pretty sick of it, so I think by doing the following, I will get my life on track with where I want to be.
1. Do More
Last year, I was mostly a bum. I fell under a terrible routine where I woke up, went to work, came home, and watched Netflix every day. Obviously I also ate, showered, and went shopping for food and clothes like a normal person—but for the most part, I did a substantial amount of nothing. That needs to change, so I want to will dedicate myself to leaving the house more often, even if it’s just to take a walk around my neighborhood.
2. Think Less
This one might seem odd, but here’s the deal: I don’t talk very often these days, so my mind is constantly running at the speed of light. I over think everything…and that is what usually stops me from doing anything most people consider fun. Most of my thoughts roam around an idea to do something I don’t normally do, like get on a plane by myself; but they almost always go to the Bad Place and voices are chattering what if you get on the wrong plane and what if you get lost and you won’t have the money to do anything when you get there, and they will repeat them until I regret the thought and go on to watch Parenthood for the third time on Netflix. I can’t have those thoughts continuously shut me out from doing the things I want anymore. I know I have to think rationally and responsibly, but I just need to somehow revert from the Bad Place, and just make experiences while I exist.
3. Dance More Often
Ever since I was a little girl, I loved to dance. I still do, even though a lot of people probably can’t picture that being true. I seriously have no idea how I somehow surrounded myself with friends that never suggest that we go out and dance. I was most likely born into the wrong generation, because all my people do is either dry hump or jump onto each other on the floor, or bob their heads while throwing down some Jack at the bar. Let’s add that onto the list of why my generation sucks, because I feel like a lot of people my age won’t dance unless they’re drunk or were raised with parents who dance themselves (even if it’s terribly, like mine). No one cares if you dance well or not, it’s all about just doing it. I love it so much, so it basically kills me when I try to get people to dance, because most of the time, “I’m not much of a dancer” or “I need a couple drinks in me first”. Unless if you can’t stand the song that’s playing, why is letting the music move you such an issue? Please, let me know. You’ll know where to find me.
4. Spend More Time with Family
Just because I say that I’m constantly home doesn’t exactly mean that I spend that time bonding with my dad or Oma, and that’s just not right. Oma is turning 88 in two weeks, and that terrifies the hell out of me. She’s always been my biggest fan and supporter, and I have never been able to imagine my world without her in it. And my parents deserve more than just a 15-minute conversation every couple of days. I want to bowl with my dad and learn how to cook my mom’s food, so I’m going to do just that. I want the quality time that I haven’t gotten much of in the last few years. I definitely spend the majority of my time with my younger sisters, but I never really get to hang out with my 13-year-old baby brother who’s constantly attached to a technological device, my older brother who’s constantly working, or my older sister, Joanne, in Florida. My older siblings are fully grown adults and have families and lives of their own, but it totally sucks never getting to see them. I know that I want to get that time with them more often, and I will try to do what I can, but I also know that I want to keep my focus mostly on Oma and my parents.
5. Be a Worthy Maid of Honor
Last year, one of my best friends was going through a tough time with wedding planning. The stress really can take a toll on a person, so I tried to help her with what I can. I was just a bridesmaid then, but then she had problems with getting a hold of the maid of honor at the time. The girl was pregnant and always busy, so I eventually became the MOH. I am humble enough to know I got the title on a technicality, but I’m also super grateful to be her right hand man. (I guess you could say I’m honored.) I understood the position she was in, and I just wanted her to know she had the help whenever she needed it. Come June 24th, I will hopefully wake up knowing I have done my job fully, completed with a good speech and a bunch of terrible jokes. It’s the least a friend could do to ease the stress.
6. Work Towards Getting Back to School
I’ve had a year and a half without school, and I am more than ready to go back. I never even wanted to leave, but money makes the world go ‘round, and I don’t have a lot of it. Hopefully, I will finish paying off the last semester I was at school this year, so I can go back ASAP.
7. Save Money
In order to go places and do things like I want to, I need to learn to save money. I’ve always worked by a budget—which is the only way that I can survive without going overboard. This time around, I’m putting money away for myself. For wants instead of needs, like bills for instance. My first thing I’m saving up for is a birthday present to myself to see Anastasia on Broadway, and I’m more than excited for it. Anastasia was my number one favorite movie as a child, and remains one, so seeing that show is literally a dream come true. After that, it’s bigger fish to fry…like finally being able to see the Northern Lights and travelling Europe.
8. Get Healthier
Okay, this one is always on everyone’s list of resolutions, but this has always been more of a need than a want for me. The want to get healthier has grown to almost overpowering the need, and I want to take care of myself. I’d like to lose some weight before my best friend’s wedding, but all in all, I just want to make better choices for myself. Eat better and be (much) more active than I’ve always been. What’s a better time than the New Year to bring in new thoughts?
9. Drive More
This is going to be one of the harder ones for me, and everyone knows it. I have actually blown up in people’s faces about not having a driver’s license or a car. As much as I hate to admit it, fear runs my life, and this is one of the biggest ones. About 80% of new drivers get into car accidents, and every person I’ve ever ridden in a car with scares the hell out of me every time they pull their phones out to text or call someone, change a song playing over Bluetooth, or send a snap. I don’t care how many years they’ve been driving, I simply can’t stand the recklessness; I would rather the driver ask a passenger to do the job, or to wait it out. And then the way I see the people drive, with no care for anyone around them—it’s absolutely ridiculous. How am I supposed to feel safe driving, when I don’t trust myself or anyone around me? I know I’ll have to get over it—and very soon—but like in #2, I have to stop thinking about these things all the time first. Or at least just less.
10. Strengthen Myself
In every possible way I can: physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, etc. I want to be able to be as independent as I can be. I don’t want to have to rely on my dad or anyone else at all. It’s bad enough I need help to get places because of my fear of getting in an accident; I hate being helped in any other way because transportation is such a huge problem all on its own. This may or may not be my year, and it is okay if it’s not. I just need want to make myself a better and healthier person for me. For the past me who didn’t have the will power to do it, the present me with the hope for a better life, and the future me who will be proud of how far I’ve come.