Long time, no see. Kind of.
I haven’t been doing a lot of writing lately, and I’m not really sure why. It may either be the lack of interest or things to talk about, or even how busy I’ve been, but I didn’t want to be away for too long.
So here’s a little update on what’s going on around me:
My baby sister is turning sixteen on Thursday. I still can’t believe that she’s so old already; I’d like to tell her to stop growing up, but let’s be real, all you want to do is grow up at that age. She’s getting a Sweet Sixteen, but not for a few weeks, and I’ve sort of been playing party planner. It’s one of the reasons I’ve been so busy; do you have any idea how hard it is to get people to do things when you’ve always been the one standing quietly on the sidelines? I only recently learned to use my voice around my family a couple years ago, so it still throws everyone off that I have a loud mouth(not literally).
Since I think a lot, I am very aware of my inner monologue. It’s the voice that I’ve known best for the majority of my life, and it constantly says so many things at one time that I basically give myself chronical migraines. (Which I might add onto my list of Reasons I Probably Always Sound like a Raging Bitch).
(Actually, now that I think about it, I might perform soliloquies more often than I’d like to admit; I guess you can say I have a pretty good relationship with myself.)
So anyway, I can’t seem to get anyone to do the things I need them to; but then again, I guess that’s why we have the saying, if you want something done right, do it yourself. Because of this, I’ve taken many tasks into my own hands—which has apparently led people to telling my sister that it seems like this party is mine.
I’m not going to lie, of course I’m jealous she’s getting a Sweet Sixteen, although I didn’t; but I also came to terms with that. I understand that our parents couldn’t afford it then; hell, they can barely afford it now. I didn’t have someone like me to help back then, so I pushed my own feelings aside to help Caitlyn and my parents out in any way I possibly can. Because, you know, I’m not a complete child, and I can totally put my feelings aside for the people I love.
Plus, who in their right mind would waste their time and energy being upset over the inevitable when they can be productive and lend a helping hand?
Isn’t that what family is for?
On that note, my job is kind of almost finished—kind of. I just have to track down everyone who hasn’t RSVP’d yet, fill out the place cards, take care of the centerpieces, put together the video montage, bake a lot of cupcakes, and keep everybody on track. It shouldn’t be that hard, right?
On another note, one of my best friends is getting married in June. I previously mentioned her in my last post, 10 Resolutions for 2017, where I said that I wanted to be a worthy maid of honor for her. I don’t think that I mentioned her name, which happens to be Amanda, so here’s a little information on our friendship:
I met her in sixth grade when we first started middle school, and she swears that I hated her, but I am pretty sure that I didn’t. In actuality, I have no idea, but I’ve literally never hated anybody before getting to know them. I have a terrible memory when it doesn’t involve useless information, so my resting bitch face was probably just on point back then, too. Anyway, that must not have lasted long, because I remember inheriting her with the other handful of girls I made friends with early on that year. I was closer to a couple of those other girls then, but clearly I had some growing up to do, because now I only talk to Amanda and one other girl (who is my other best friend, Jeanette) on a regular basis. I still care about those other girls from back then, but only Amanda and Jeanette have stayed by my side for the following ten years.
Amanda and I grew close over the past decade, and our comradery blossomed into one of the best friendships I’ve ever had. When we were younger, we spent a lot of our time getting to know each other in the many classes we had together, and I even ended up going to her Sweet Sixteen. Towards the end of high school, we went to prom in the same group, and even went to each other’s graduation parties.
Now, ten years after meeting and four years after graduating high school, we hang out whenever we can, movicate* each other, craft, take trips to Target, and talk about anything and everything. My friendship with Amanda didn’t just end with high school like most do, and that makes me so grateful, because she’s simply incredible. We became best friends, and now I’m going to be her mer-maid of honor! The responsibility seems like a lot, but it is so worth getting to watch my own friend marry her best friend, Tim.
These two events that are coming up so quickly have really been keeping me from going back into the darkness, and I’m so deeply grateful to be a big part of them. Yes, they are stressful, but I love knowing that I’m helping build such monumental events in my little sister and best friend’s lives. I can’t wait to experience the end results; partially because this last year and a half has really been a dark time for everyone, but also because I know there is a guarantee that I’ll get to dance again.
And if there’s one thing that I love to do, it’s dance.
*movicate (v.)– Pitch Perfect reference – when one is educated with a movie one has never seen before (usually a classic, i.e.: Meet Me in St. Louis)