I Don’t Take Enough Pictures

And that is something I think about often.

I used to take pictures all the time, and now I don’t really take any. I wish I did.

But things don’t really happen, and when they do, I don’t think about taking a picture until afterwards. And that is super annoying.

I don’t take enough pictures of my friends and family.

I was at my brother’s house the other day, and I didn’t take any pictures of Lily and Kylie. I took one of Riley, when she was in her little basinet, but that was it. I used to take tons of pictures of the girls whenever I’d come over, but now I just save the ones that Ryan puts on Facebook. I feel like that’s cheating.

I feel like saving other people’s pictures is like trying to steal their memories. And I have a bad memory, so you’d think that I would take a lot of pictures. But no. I let my memories fly by, without saying a word.

I used to put on makeup and do my hair all the time, thinking, “oh, at least if someone takes a picture today, at least I’ll look a little human.” Those are the days nobody takes pictures. Of me. At least that’s what it feels like.

I feel like people only want to take pictures when I’m not in the mood.

So I probably should not care so much about what I look like in pictures, even though I can’t help myself. I should just shut up and get in the damn photo.

That is also something I think about often.

I feel weird when I’m with Brianna and Caitlyn, and Caitlyn takes tons of pictures and videos of Brianna. It makes me wonder if she’s ashamed of me, or because she thinks she’ll get more followers with pictures of the “popular” sibling.

I also feel weird when I want to take a selfie with someone. My arms are so short, that the photo looks zoomed in, and since most other people don’t have a second chin, they don’t raise their phone higher than eye-level. Like, what?

I think about how I haven’t changed my profile picture in two years. I can’t tell if that’s because I never have my picture taken, or because I don’t want people to notice that I’m heavier than I was back then.

I wonder why people are so selfie-obsessed, but sometimes I find myself taking a couple here or there, when I feel like I had a good hair day. Which is also kind of weird, since I don’t post them anywhere. They either just get deleted or sit on my phone.

I also wonder why keeping streaks on Snapchat is a huge deal for some people. Why do teenagers see it as an accomplishment when they have a 300-day streak? I seriously don’t get it.

Also, why does Snapchat suck the life out of my phone like a vampire who hasn’t fed in weeks?

Why can’t I remember to take photos of things and people that I want photos of, like my siblings and my parents and Oma and whichever friends I actually get to see?

Why does the fact that I haven’t posted on Instagram in a while bother me so much?

How is it that I didn’t realize that I don’t take enough photos until I noticed that I haven’t posted on Instagram in a while? And why does that bother me so much?

I should really just shut up and take the damn photos.

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