Most Days, Sara forgets the sound of her own voice
Because she spends a lot of her time silent.
She listens to her friends when they tell her stories,
And talk about their own lives,
And wonders if they ever notice that she doesn’t do the same.
She spends her days at work in a cubicle,
Listening to the conversations between post-menopausal women
Complain about their backs and their necks
And how the company isn’t how it used to be.
Sara listens to her parents fight about the same things
Over and over again
And wonders when they’re finally going to give in
To their proud ways.
She looks at men when she’s out and about,
And admires the way they walk,
The way their arms fit perfectly around their girlfriends’ waists,
And the way they smile,
As if there is no better moment than the one they’re in.
She looks at women
And admires the way they move
Full of grace and pride,
No matter how much they suffer behind closed doors.
She notices when her best friend, Julia,
Puts her heart and soul into a relationship
With a boy that doesn’t seem to want the same things.
But she stays silent.
Sara stays silent because she knows
Her friend is too headstrong to listen,
Because Julia really wants it to work with this one,
Because Julia doesn’t like to be alone at night.
She stays silent because she knows
That nobody wants to hear about her days in the office,
And her nights on the track
And then in front of the TV.
She thinks too much,
And a lot of the time
She wishes that she could just be in silence.
Complete, dead silence.
A silence without her mind turning
‘Round and round in circles,
Without that voice screaming,
“Say something!
Anything!
Nobody is going to know who you are
If you just stay silent!”
Nobody is going to know
Just how much she loves the ocean,
But can’t stand the sand,
And how it follows her
All the way back home.
They’re not going to learn
That she knows how they like their steak,
And how if they leave the house
Without putting on their favorite necklace,
Their whole day is thrown off.
She’s memorized everything to a point
Where nothing surprises her anymore,
And for some reason
She hasn’t found a way to break out of that cycle.
Instead, Sara stays silent.
She even lip syncs to her favorite songs
In the car
Because she doesn’t want to hear
About how she can’t sing well.
Everyone is predictable,
And she hates that even more
Than never having enough money in her pocket.
She’d rather just stay silent
Because it’s easier than starting a fight
She didn’t intend to start in the first place.
It’s easier than speaking her mind
And being told that she is wrong
When she knows that she is not,
And that it’s called an opinion for a reason.
Sara is just sick and tired
Of the mind games these people
Seem to love to play
Day in and day out.
It is very rare when you actually hear
Sara break her silence.
When she does,
It’s usually because somebody from her favorite TV show
Said the one line that cracks her up
Every time she hears it,
Or when she cries
Because she sat around long enough
To let her mind
Really get to pick at her heart.
She doesn’t want to be like this,
Kept hidden behind a bedroom door.
But she also doesn’t want
Anyone to realize she might just be
As crazy as everyone else.
Instead, Sara will continue
Her silent movie
Until she finally allows
Herself to break the silence.
Prompt: Think about how silence affects a person. Write a poem about it.
