An Open Letter to Friends in Relationships

Hey You,

Here’s some advice: don’t ask single people relationship advice—especially single people who have never been in a relationship before.

We get it, you want an outside voice. But you know what? These outside voices don’t matter. This is partially because you’re just going to do what you want in the end. We can tell you then break up or tell him/her this or tell me the whole situation and we’ll work from there all we want, but you know in your own heart what you want to do. And that’s what you’re going to follow.

Our outside voices don’t matter. This is also because we don’t actually know what we’re talking about. We’ve never been in a relationship before, so how are we supposed to help you?

Newsflash: we can’t.

We hear all these problems you have with your significant other and think, “then what are you doing with him/her if you’re not happy with them?” or, a personal favorite, “why don’t you actually address this issue to him/her, who is actually in this relationship with you?”

Don’t get us wrong: Your Single Friend loves you to bits and wants nothing but the best for you, but you can’t expect us to fix your relationships. All that stuff is actually up to you and your partner.

In fact, bringing other people into the mix makes matters worse, if not just more complicated. You’re literally asking for all these opinions, and yet, the only opinions that truly matter are your own and your partner’s. And you should know that.

I’m not saying to completely stop talking to us about your relationship issues. I’m just saying that asking them for advice is more than likely a bad idea. We’re going to give you the facts, and our own opinions on the matter. And we know that most of the time, you don’t care about the facts, so you determine what you want to do based on our opinions (which we said before, do not matter).

The choice is up to you.

We don’t want to see you hurt, because we love you. We’re open to hear about your problems, and be a shoulder to cry on. We’re on your side, always and forever. We want what’s best for you, so we’re going to give you the cold, hard truth.

But remember that just because we want the best for you, The Best For You isn’t always going to line up perfectly with what you want for yourself at this moment in time. You’re going to make mistakes, and you’re going to get your heart broken—these things are bound to happen.

We’re going to need you to grab the Ben and Jerry’s, put on The Notebook, and cry everything out that you need to. Because we need you to be able to get up from these lows, and continue your life. If we can’t save you from these failures and heartbreaks, we will need you to be able to heal from these things, because life does go on. Your heart will go on.

You will overcome these obstacles, and get where you need to be. You will find someone who will laugh with you, treat you right, and make you feel like everything you went through was worth it. Because you will be a stronger person, and a better version of yourself.

Your Single Friend needs you to know that you are loved. Your parents love you, your siblings love you. We love you. It may not be the kind of love you want right now, but it’s what you have. You don’t need some boy to show you what you’re worth. You’re a freaking pearl. (And you’d know what we’re talking about if you listened to us and Katy Perry every once in a while.)

Do what you feel, and do what you must. Even if what we think and what you want aren’t always congruent, we got your back.

The Ben and Jerry’s are up the block, if you need it.

We’re rooting for you, and we love you.

Eternally Yours,

Your Single Friends

Prompt: Write a letter to one group of people, and sign it from another.

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A twenty-two year old who lives through words and her Netflix account. She makes herself laugh more than others, and she claims that she is okay with that.

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