I truly believe that I am terrible when it comes to talking to people; I hate small talk, and I don’t know how to insert my opinion a lot of the time—usually because someone else is talking over.
I find that most people talk because they want to be heard, but they just listen to reply. They don’t listen to understand.
I try my best to listen to understand. And because of this, I think that’s why people have always liked to talk to me. I like to get to the bottom of things, to really get people down to their core.
But I would never think of myself as the best listener. But I do consider my friend, Amanda, just that.
It isn’t often when I find myself having a good conversation with others, but my conversations with Amanda never bore me or make me feel as unimportant as others do. I’m not really sure if it’s because of the person she is, or our relationship in general, but she always seems to get where I’m coming from—and I love that about her.
During one of our last sleepovers,—we try to have them as often as we can, even though she’s married AF to her other best friend, Tim—she asked me a question that threw me off guard. Like I said before, Amanda and I always have really good conversations, and the main reason I think so is because as often as we talk about current events and what movie we’d like to watch that night, we just as often talk about The Big Things. And by that, I’m talking about more than just what we want to do with our lives; I’m talking about the little details that nobody else really thinks to ask, like “do you think different things happen to people with different beliefs after we die,” or “why is everyone we know the same exact way?”
It was probably around 3am when Oma made her way for her late night trip to the bathroom when she told us that it was super late and to go to bed. We agreed, as usual, and turned off the light.
“Amanda,” she started, “what do you think is your greatest flaw?”
It was a question I had never been asked before. Immediately, my mind went for my weight. And then I thought about how that was a really shallow answer. My greatest flaw could not possibly be my weight, no matter how many problems it has caused me throughout my life. When it comes down to it, my weight is more of an insecurity than a flaw. And I knew it.
I really had to think about what I thought was the worst thing about me. While I thought about it, Amanda talked about what she thought was her own, as well as the flaw in a couple of people in her life.
And then it hit me. When I finished listening to Amanda’s thoughts, I told her my big flaw.
And as usual, Amanda just listened. She truly is a great friend to me; she lets me speak until I’m finished, and she doesn’t try to talk over me. She understands and knows more things about me than literally anyone else I’ve ever met. I can trust her with what I tell her, and I can trust what she tells me.
I am truly grateful to have a person like her in my life.
Prompt: When was the last time someone truly listened to you?