Dog With A Blog

By the time she finally woke up, I was ready to go outside and play.

She didn’t look excited to be up, but I really need to go to the bathroom, so I was hyped up to make my way to the back door.

“Alright,” she said, smoothing down what she called her mini-‘fro, “Let’s go, children.” She slowly got onto her feet, and turned to get Lady out of her room. I don’t get why Lady always takes such a long time to get up, Amanda says she’s a puppy, just like me!

Well, I’m a big puppy, and so is Lady. Pixie is a small puppy, but she’s like ten years older than me—that’s so weird!

Amanda walked right behind Lady the whole time to the back door, and I circled around Amanda. I can’t wait to get outside! I heard her mumble something about not wanting to go to work, so after she opened the back door, I zoomed out and turned around for her to follow. If she didn’t want to go to work, she didn’t have to; she can stay home and play with me all day!

That would be fun.

Instead, she turned around to get ready for her day. Oh, how I love the outside! Wait—is that squirrel over there the one from yesterday?! I’m gonna go find out!

I run run run run after the squirrel, but that small furry animal seemed like he didn’t want to play.

Oh well. I guess I’ll just go to the bathroom, and then lay out in the sun for a while.

♦ ♦ ♦

It wasn’t until I was finally ready for my third nap of the day that I heard something come from the front window. It sounded like one of those big machine thingies that the humans call a car.

I got up from my bed to see who it was. I see red hair, glasses—oh my god, it’s Amanda! She’s one of my favorites. And behind her was…Dad! He’s my very favorite because he likes it when I sleep on the floor in his room. I know I’m his favorite, too, but he won’t admit it.

When Amanda opened the door, I made sure I was front and center, ready for a good petting session. I stuck my nose up, trying to tell her that my head was ready for some good pets.

“Hi, Looney!” She pet my head a couple times, it was great. Then she rubbed my ear a little bit, before moving onto Lady. “Hi, Puppy!” She always came home so excited to see us.

I waited for Dad to pet me, too, but he was too busy looking through the mail. How rude, I thought I was family! I come before the mail! Dad, pay attention to me!

I circle around him, and push my head against his leg. He doesn’t look very happy, so I want to cheer him up. He won’t let me!

“Can’t I come into the house without you dogs attacking me?” Dad asked. “I’m not in the mood.”

The problem is, Dad is never in the mood when he comes home. All we want is some petting, to be told that we’re good girls, and make our humans happy! And be fed, but that doesn’t count right now.

Dad pushes past me, and walks into that room with the water coming out of the wall. I think they called it a bathroom, but that’s silly, because everybody knows that the bathroom is outside in the backyard.

Since Dad didn’t want to play, I’ll just go see what Amanda is up to.

I go to her room, and she’s changing into her pajamas. I guess it was a rough day today at work.

“Hey Lu,” she said to me, and she notices me perking up. “Did anybody feed you today?”

Yep, Dad did this morning. I go around Amanda’s bed to meet her on the other side of the room, and sit in front of her. She pets me on the head again, and rubs one of my ears; I love it when she does that.

She picks up a little black stick, and for a minute, I thought she was going to throw it for me to go get it, but she uses it to turn on her TV. Oh, I wonder what we’re watching tonight!

“What do you want to watch?” she asks me. I hope it’s that funny show with that blonde lady, or even the show that says telenovela a lot. Those are my favorites, but I don’t remember what they’re called. I watch Amanda skim through her TV, and picks something called Jane the Virgin. Wait, that’s the telenovela one! Yay!

I jump up onto her bed, and make a beeline for the pillows; they’re just so soft, I love to lay across them! And I have to get there before Amanda does, because she likes to lay on those, too!

“Lu, you gotta move,” she says, pointing to the other end of the bed. If I don’t move, she’ll give up—I just know it.

I look up at her with my cute face—I say cute face because that’s what my humans say, they think my face is cute!—and wait for her to move to the other end of the bed.

“Ugh, seriously, Lu?”

Even though I annoy her sometimes, I know she still likes me more than the other humans in the house. She grabs her blanket, and uses it as a pillow at the bottom of the bed.

I win.

After an episode or two, Amanda gets up from the bed, and pauses the show. That either means that she’s going to get food to eat, or go to that bathroom that’s inside the house.

She leaves the room, and doesn’t come back for almost ten minutes with a plate of food. I knew it…snack time!

I move from my place on her bed to Amanda’s spot to show her that I’m ready to eat. Human food is soooo much better than the stuff they give me and Lady; I don’t get why they don’t just feed us this stuff every morning.

“No, Lu,” she says. “This isn’t yours.”

I move up a little closer, and put my paw on her arm. She looks down at me, and I try to give her my best Puppy Face.

“I said no,” she says, and moves up by the soft pillows. “Now get down.”

But I don’t want to get down!

I jump off the bed anyway, and sit on the floor next to Amanda’s spot on her bed. She doesn’t look mad, just invested in the show on the TV. I still want some human food.

Amanda looks down at me again for a second before going back to her show. She eats her food while watching it, and when she’s done, she gets rid of the scraps. How could she do that to me? I would have eaten it, no problem! I would have even eaten the plate if there was nothing left but a couple of licks on the plate!

“Okay, back to Jane and Rafael,” Amanda says, with a cup of brown stuff. I think the humans called it iced tea before, but I’m not completely sure.

I follow Amanda back to her bed from the kitchen, and jump back up. She sat on one side of the bed by the pillows, so I laid next to her, and rested my head on her lap. The humans can’t resist themselves when I put my head on them for some reason, so I’ve learned to love doing this. They are pretty soft to lay on.

I let Amanda watch her show without interruption, and she pets my head.

Except for when she goes to that bathroom inside the house that one time in between episodes.

This part of the day is my favorite, even though I do like it a lot when one of the humans throws the ball or plays tug of war with me. I especially like it when Amanda is finally ready to go to sleep, and lays down next to me, so I can make sure at least one of my humans are safe.

Before I fall asleep, I hear Lady moseying on into Amanda’s room. She circles around, and rests into the spot on the floor by Amanda’s feet, and I know the Hazard house is at peace.

At least, until I have to go to the bathroom.

Prompt: Write a story about yourself from the perspective of an object, thing, animal, or another person.

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A twenty-two year old who lives through words and her Netflix account. She makes herself laugh more than others, and she claims that she is okay with that.

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