Danger’s My Last Name: An Autobiography

To be honest, I don’t think my life is exciting enough for an autobiography. But it would be pretty cool to have something to go back to that is full of facts and secrets around and about my life. If anyone is nosy, like me, they would just have to pick up a book, and they’d know what was going on in my head during major life events.

Maybe I will eventually get to writing one, because now that I think about it, that was among the reasons why I started up my blog again. I wanted something I can go back to, just in case if I forgot any details of things going on.

Maybe I should just publish my blog as a book. That’d be less work, for sure.

But if I were to write my own biography right now, I would probably separate each chapter by the different areas in my life, but in chronological order, so you can basically grow up with me through my childhood and teenaged years. They would go as follows:


1. Before Amanda: More like a prologue, this chapter would give you the setting and background, tell you how my parents met, and eventually had me.

2. The Dukes of Hazard: This actual first chapter would essentially be about my baby and toddler years, and the things going on around me, including receiving new siblings.

3. Easier Times: This one would be about my childhood years: learning to ride a bike, going to Disney, rituals and traditions we did as a family as I grew up, etc.

4. The Woman Who Raised Me: This chapter would basically be an ode to my Oma. I would talk about what I know of her life before America, as well as her move, remarrying, becoming a widow, and then life as a grandmother.

5. A Girl’s Best Friend: This chapter would be about my dog, Mika, as well as my first memorable experience with death.

6. Calling It Quits/Living With Mom: This would be the chapter of my parents’ separation and divorce, and how I dealt with it. It would also talk about how life became after my dad moved back to his childhood home, and really touch up on my relationship with my mother at that point.

7. My Mom’s Mom: This would be a chapter about my Nanny. Essentially another ode to my grandma, I would talk about what I know of her life: growing up with the man she marries, living in Brentwood before its gang violence reputation, raising seven children, and then most of her grandchildren, and living with emphysema.

8. Teenagers: Would have been titled Teenagers Scare The Living Shit Out Of Me, but deemed to be way too long. This chapter would essentially be about my years as a teenager, the friendships I made growing up, and pulling away from my parents (as teens do).

9. Finding My Way: This chapter would be about my struggle to choose a career path, as I had a couple of very different choices that I had in mind.

10. What Have You Done?: Based off my post of the same name, this chapter would basically be about my move from my childhood home into my grandmother’s house, and the repercussions that followed.

11. Ocean Avenue: This chapter would be about how life was towards the end of my teenage years in my Oma’s house, with her, my dad, and my sister, Brianna.

12. Preparing For Adulthood, Kind Of: Probably a short chapter, but this one would be about my journey with applying and being accepted into college.

13. Grown Men Cry, Too: Based off of my post called The Last Time, this chapter would be about my third experience with death, and the hardest one yet: Nan’s. I would also mention dealing with life on my first birthday without her, as well as graduation.

14. The Summer Before College: Starting at the morning of my high school graduation, this chapter would be about my “last hoorah” before heading off to Iona.

15. Welcome to Iona: Clearly indicated, this chapter would be about the beginning of my college experience, the friends I made, and basically discovering my voice (not my singing voice, sadly…I still suck at that).

16. The Gaels Room: Continuing on with my time at Iona, this chapter would be more about my second year, living with nine other girls, and the adventures that came along with that.

17. Mama, I’m Coming Home: This short chapter would be about my finding out that I wasn’t going back to Iona after the end of my sophomore year, and the big event.

18. Just Trying to Survive: This chapter talks about life back at home, getting set up with a temp job, and just barely being able to deal with one of my biggest fears. I’d also talk about my weekly traditions, which became Wednesdays with Mom and Weekends with Amanda.

19. I Ruined My Nails: This chapter would be about my twenty-first birthday, and the events leading up to it, which includes wearing a brace for the first time ever.

20. Who Are You People?: This chapter would follow my journey of figuring out my family past, including the use of Ancestry, and learning information from my mom, Aunt Roxanne, and Oma.

21. Amanda Hazard, Event Planner: This chapter would talk about how big events took over my life at the beginning of 2017, focusing on Caitlyn’s Sweet Sixteen That Never Happened and helping Amanda with her wedding.

22. Blogging My Life: This chapter would touch up on how I got back into the groove of blogging, how it has become something I am passionate about, and how it helped me cope with personal issues.

23. Life Goes On: This last chapter would be about things looking up, and my hopes for the future.

Prompt: What chapters would you separate your autobiography into? Name the chapters of your life so far.

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