What The Hell Is Even Going On

You know how people say things like, “life moves fast,” and “things can happen in the blink of an eye”? Yeah, well, this morning was interesting.

Last night, I made a little promise to myself to be a little more proactive about my image. I wanted to start waking up earlier in the mornings, take better care of my skin (especially my face; I always have acne), and wear makeup often again. So, last night, I washed my face really well, before taking a shower.

I did not wake up at the time I wanted to. I want to blame binge watching Freakish for that, but let’s be real here—I could have gotten up early anyway, but I chose not to. Sleep was more important. But, on the bright side, I did do my eyes and put on some lipstick today! So that made me feel a little more put together this morning.

Because I don’t have a license or car, I go into work with Aunt Roxanne every day. Waiting for Aunt Roxanne in the mornings is like waiting for rain in a drought: useless, and disappointing. (Name that reference!) We never get to work on time, so I didn’t expect it to be any different today (actually, it was the reason I had time to do my makeup this morning). I text her when I’m ready every morning, and wait for her to drop by.

This morning was one of the ones where I had to call her because she was running so late. She showed up around 9:25. We’re supposed to be at our desks by 9am. (But you know what, I think that doesn’t even matter anymore, because I’m pretty sure they don’t expect me to be in until 9:30 every day—but that’s besides the point.)

When she showed up, I hopped into her car faster than usual. Normally, I take my time; I sometimes get spiteful, especially in the morning, when I don’t want to deal with anyone or anything. But I was in a rush to get to work, because we were going to get there later than we usually do. We drove down to Bay Shore Road, and then headed south to get onto the parkway, eastbound. Right as we were getting onto the parkway, the truck right in front of us suddenly went into a dead stop, and we had to brace ourselves.

You see, I’ve had a lot of Almosts in my life, but they were just about always accidents. I can’t tell if that means that I’m super lucky (because nothing ever actually happens), or that I have a lot of bad luck (because this happens all the time).

We were lucky that Aunt Roxanne noticed that the guy had stopped right in time, before we would have hit him. It didn’t look like his break lights were even on, but we headed right for his truck—until Aunt Roxanne quickly swerved into the grass. She swerved so quickly, I almost didn’t notice what had almost happened until we were stopped on the grass, right next to the guy’s truck.

Aunt Roxanne just sat there for a couple of minutes—one hand on the wheel, the other on her heart—in shock.

It turned out that the guy only stopped to let a squirrel run by. (Are you kidding me?)

I don’t even know how that whole scenario even happened. I just know that I’m happy to have made it to work (on payday, hell yes!), and that we never hit the guy, so both cars were left unscathed. I have never been so lucky in my life. That little Almost was the closest Almost I’ve ever lived.

◊ ◊ ◊

Fast forward to just a couple of minutes ago, as I’m writing this post. I get a text from my mom, saying to not make any plans for September 22nd. Now, anyone that’s sane would think, hm, that date already passed. That’s because she didn’t mean for 2017.

Let me just say this one more time: I have never been so lucky in my life. To having went from almost being in a car accident, to seeing one of my favorite artists of all time in concert—my day has been a rollercoaster ride, and it’s not even noon yet.

Look out, world: your girl is going to be seeing Ed Sheeran, live. I am too excited for words. (I am literally crying tears of joy writing this.)

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