That Thing

You know, I was always a very picky person; if you asked me what my “perfect” idea of a boyfriend/husband/whatever when I was a child (or even a teenager), I would have been able to tell you every little thing that I wanted. I can be really specific.

For instance, I used to swear up and down that boys with dark hair and blue eyes were always the most attractive, just for the sole reason that I didn’t have that combination, and that’s what I wanted my kids to look like. (Have I ever mentioned that I had a really big crush on John Travolta as a kid? You can blame that one on my mother, and her love for Grease.)

But you know what, I feel like I can’t really be blamed for liking the dark-hair, light-eyes combination. People that have that going on for them just look freaking cool—especially when you grow up with such mediocre brown eyes. I used to think I would look so much prettier with either blue or green eyes, but that isn’t something that you can actually change, so I forced myself to get over it.

In my mind, I thought: if I can’t have light eyes, I want my future boyfriend/husband/whatever to have them.

And because that’s how my mind worked, the first thing I always look at are people’s eyes. It’s not even necessarily just for when I’m looking for a potential boyfriend, too; it’s everyone. I can’t help but look at people’s eyes. I know that sounds weird, but I basically conditioned myself to do that, since I used to have major eye contact issues. But that’s besides the point.

I don’t judge people on their eye color, but I definitely still have a thing for light eyes. My favorite used to be blue when I was younger, but it actually changed to green at some point. They’re just so nice, and much more interesting than my own.

When I was younger, I was also pretty particular when it came to personalities—but, I mean, come on: I’m a writer, for God’s sake. And I even have a bit of perfectionist in me; of course I’m going to be picky about these things.

I wonder how many other people have sat back and mentally designed their Perfect Partner. It’s probably because I have so much time to myself and think about way too much that I’ve done so before. I have to learn to stop being so weird.

Personality-wise—and I know how cliché this is going to sound, because it’s so overused—the first thing I really pay attention for in a guy is his sense of humor. I get that most people are, but I’m just really attracted to people who can make me laugh. (But if I’m going to be honest here: it doesn’t take much to make me laugh.)

That’s how I’ve made most of my friends; by seeing if and how much our senses of humor correlated to each other’s. It was basically like this: if you can’t make me laugh, we can’t be friends. But like I said before, it doesn’t take too much; so if I based my relationships completely off of that, I would have had a lot more friends.

You have to remember that I’m picky.

Which, now that I think about it, doesn’t really help me at all. But I would rather be picky than have no standards, because the kind of people who are end up with abusers and oppressors and drug addicts, and I’m just not into guys like that. Even if they are funny and have beautiful eyes.

Prompt: What personal quality do you look for first in a person? What physical feature do you look for?

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A twenty-two year old who lives through words and her Netflix account. She makes herself laugh more than others, and she claims that she is okay with that.

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