I’m going to need you to give me some space. No, really; I can’t have you all up in my face, hanging all over me. And I know that must either make me seem like such a weirdo or just plain obnoxious, but I feel like people just don’t understand personal space—physically, mentally, emotionally.
One thing that I’ve always disliked about people is how clingy they can be; I don’t understand how so many people can be like that, hanging all over one another, desperately in need of physical touch, or even just always needing to be with or around someone.
Does that kind of thing stem from some type of insecurity, or the feeling of abandonment?
Possibly, but that doesn’t make me understand it any better. At least for me, it just seems annoying to have someone who is consistently needy and dependent on others. It’s almost like having a child you never wanted: always there, asking questions, hanging on your every word, clutched to your side. It doesn’t seem very appealing when I put it that way, huh?
Well, that’s what clinginess looks like to me; I just don’t like it.
And don’t get me wrong, there will probably always be a clinginess [to some degree] in all kinds of relationships: romantic, parent/child, friends, etc. It’s a part of the emotional investment, which I’ve mentioned before, that when I’m emotionally invested, I am very invested. But my investment isn’t shown in how many minutes I spend with you or how touchy-feely I am. It’s comes more in waves of questions, and sharing, and gift-giving, and the quality of my time with the people I love.
Affection can be shown in so many different ways, and yet, I think a lot of people only correlate personal interest or investment with the amount of time spent together or physical touch. And honestly, that annoys me. Not the idea in general, but the fact that so many people’s brains work like, “oh, he didn’t hold my hand, so he must not really be into me anymore.”
Of course, your love interest/partner can be into you, without being physically intimate all the time. Of course your mom/dad/grandparent still loves you, even though they didn’t give you a kiss on their way out of the door. To me, it’s absolutely nuts to think that people jump to conclusions like that.
Not everyone functions or thinks or shows affection the same way, and I think that’s something that people have to realize—and at some point, come to terms with.
♦ ♦ ♦
You know what I value most in people? I like people who are open.
I don’t know if that sounds basic or cheesy, but that is something that I find to be one of the most honorable things to be, as a human being. I almost said that I value honesty most, which I would have to say comes second, but I can’t say that I value or respect a person more than one who doesn’t have to be set in the ways they were taught.
When I say that I value an open person, I don’t mean that by an open book. What I consider an open person is one who is willing to share. One who is willing to share ideas and hopes and dreams and thoughts, without the expectation that everyone thinks the same way as them. Someone who is willing to hear the ideas, hopes, dreams and thoughts of others, without belittling them.
Basically, I value decent human beings.
I’ve grown up with two very strongly opinionated families. One side being a huge, Catholic Irish family, and the other being a handful of Germans. And, stereotypically speaking, after hearing that I grew up with that kind of background, you would think that I think a certain way, because my family is just really…white.
So things were said…often…as I grew up. Things that you could assume would be said amongst a really white family. And you would think that I would be the same way, considering that’s how I was subliminally taught to be.
But I learned that I didn’t have to be like those people. I didn’t have to discriminate against color or sexual orientation, like some of my family did…like some of them still do. And I sure as hell wasn’t letting myself think that girls weren’t as strong as men, or had to depend on them.
I learned from my mom, my grandmothers, and teachers alike, that my place wasn’t in the home, making babies, or in the kitchen, cooking for the family. I was worth more than that.
And I think that I am lucky enough to live in a time where more and more people are fighting for equalities between all people. I am lucky enough to live in a place and a time where there are people who are open to listen to others about their hardships and thoughts and ideas and feelings. I am lucky enough that I live in a time where we have the internet; a place where word spreads wider and faster than ever before, about all the bad things going on in this world, so we can find a way to fix it.
The only people who can fix the bad things going on in this world are the open ones. Everyone else is too oppressive to truly care about our home, but the open people…those are the ones I look up to. Those are the ones who I find decent, and to be the most valuable players in this game called life.
In my eyes, those are the good guys.
I’m not saying that all of the other people are the bad guys. I’m saying that all the other people need at least one open person to show them the way. The more united we stand, the more work gets done. And what kills me is that people do not realize that.
Some people just can’t seem to break away from the ideals and customs their elders have taught them. And I wish that was okay, but it’s not. Because so long as people continue to teach the youth to be proud and secluding and prejudice, racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, and all other types of oppression and inequality will live on. And although these are such heavy, political problems, they need to be talked about, and they need to be fixed.
And I think that if we work towards equality, the world would be a better, happier place.
I don’t know if that’s wishful thinking, and if it’s asking for too much, but I think the open people are the ones who will find a way to do something about this. Because, when you really think about it, there is absolutely nothing positive that comes out of inequality.
Boy, did that take an unexpected turn. I just really enjoy the kind of people who don’t give others a hard time for being different, and will even stand beside them in hardships. Those guys are the best.
Prompt: What personality trait do you value most, and which do you dislike the most?