Uncomfortably Me

Hey guys! Okay, so I know that I have basically went MIA, and I apologize for that. I am increasingly growing behind on my 365-day personal writing challenge; I will be resuming that either tonight or tomorrow, depending on how this goes, and my state of being. I am really tired. (I know that’s a bad excuse, but oh well.) 

I just got back home from hanging out with my best friend and this new guy that she’s talking to. It was my first time meeting him, and he was really nice. He was…not really what I expected. It’s not like I expected him to be an ass, I just didn’t expect him to be so quiet. From what Jeanette’s told me about this kid, I would have never thought that he’d be the way that he was. And if I have one word for how I feel right now, it’s uncomfortable.

Jeanette’s always been really open to me about her relationships. For as long as I can remember, I have always been her go-to gal whenever she needed advice, someone to rant to, or even just somebody to gush to. Like most people I know, she’s the kind of person who doesn’t like to show emotions unless she knows that she can trust the person she’s showing them to. And this guy confused her more than anyone else probably ever has.

Which, to say the least, I totally get now.

He calls her his friend to her face, but then does boyfriend-type things, like hold her hand and kiss her in public. Can it get any more confusing than that? I don’t know.

What I do know is how nice he was to her, and to me, tonight. Sure, he showed up to the party a little higher than the rest of the crowd (all of me and Jeanette), but he seemed to sober up at some point, while we were at Applebees. He didn’t get a lot of our jokes, but that was okay, because most people don’t. But he did bring some of his own jokes to the table, and I appreciated that. Of course Jeanette and I laughed; we’ll laugh at just about anything.

(Sidenote: All I wanted today was a chicken caesar wrap and french fries, and I actually got it for dinner! I was a happy girl.)

Screen Shot 2017-12-30 at 1.27.45 AM

After getting some dinner, we took a trip to the Target down the block from where we live…as I usually do whenever I leave the house. We walked around, trying to find some of our friends from high school that work there (finding a total of zero friends), and then picked up some snacks to take back to Nette’s for a movie. Nothing special, just a lot of joking around and finding any kind of sexual innuendos during our conversations.

So, really, tonight was a usual night for Jeanette and I—plus a guy, minus the wine.

And it was a good time, for the most part. Despite my original assumptions and feelings towards the kid, I like him. He might do some good for Jeanette at this time in her life. I think she needs someone to help build her self-esteem and make her uncomfortable. She’s so used to being the one making others feel uncomfortable, but now, it’s her time to shine under the uncomfortable light.

I’ve recently learned that being uncomfortable equals growth. So maybe that’s what she needs right now.

At the beginning of this, I mentioned that if there was one thing that I felt after hanging out with the two of them tonight, it was that I felt uncomfortable. Which I was, because I never feel comfortable when I play third wheel. I know Jeanette doesn’t do it on purpose, but that’s just how I am. I don’t like PDA, and I don’t like that feeling of being the odd man out. I told her at the beginning of the night that she could just hang out with him tonight without me, but she wanted me there. She really wanted me to meet him, and she wanted to spend time together—which is something that I feel like we really need right now, in our friendship. So of course I showed my face, despite this thing on my nose.

(Side story: Christmas morning, I woke up with a pimple on the tip of my nose; Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer definitely made it to my hometown. Being how I am, I tried ripping it off, and put makeup over the spot, to hide it. I guess I infected it, because I was cursed to wake up with this ugly scab looking thing on my nose. It is slowly, but surely, going away; I wish it would do so at a much faster pace. Carry on.)

So after our little adventure, we went back to Jeanette’s, and looked for a movie to watch. She gave JD and I the choice between genres, and we agreed on comedy; this disappointed Nette, because she would have rather we watched a horror film. Majority ruled.

We ended up settling on Tommy Boy, a classic…that neither JD nor I have ever watched before. And because of this, Nette said that we had to watch it.

I liked it—especially because Rob Lowe was in it. I love Rob Lowe. Who knew that he could work the Bad Guy character so well? I’m used to Chris Traeger Rob Lowe. But I digress.

Have I ever mentioned that I like to talk during movies? It’s very rare when you can find me being completely silent during a movie. I’ll talk to my neighbor about what’s going on, I’ll talk to the screen. I love watching movies, but I also like to talk about them during them. I like to be a live commentator. And I know that is a pet peeve that most people have, but Jeanette doesn’t. She’s actually my favorite person to watch movies with, because we can pay close attention to what’s playing, all the while having a completely unrelated conversation.

And because I was third wheeling it, I couldn’t really do that; that’s what made me so uncomfortable at first. I’d look over to say something to her, and she’d be a little distracted.


So I kept a lot to myself. And when the movie ended, I put my shoes on to go home. I almost felt like I overdid my stay, but I wanted to watch all the way to the end of the movie! I didn’t even expect her to offer to drive me home (which she usually does, but that’s besides the point); I was ready to walk. But she started putting on her shoes as I did.

And as we got ready, she told JD to stay at her house, and set up camp. He came to the door to say ‘see you later’, and he asked me the weirdest and most unexpected thing.

“What color are your eyes?”

Three thoughts ran through my mind:

  1. Um, what?
  2. Aren’t you into my best friend?
  3. Well that was random as hell.

Jeanette chimed in, “they’re not the same as mine,” which made me chuckle. And although the question caught me off guard, I answered, anyway.

“Um, brown. Why?”

His reply: “They’re like a light brown. They’re nice.”

Again, that was unexpected. And although it was supposed to be a nice gesture, I was uncomfortable. My face scrunched up into an awkward smile.

The words I’m uncomfortable slip out of my mouth, and carry me outside, into Jeanette’s car. And during our short ride to my house, and the conversation on the way, I thought about how random-slash-weird that was.

I am still uncomfortable.

Posted by

A twenty-two year old who lives through words and her Netflix account. She makes herself laugh more than others, and she claims that she is okay with that.

One thought on “Uncomfortably Me

  1. Damn…I would be uncomfortable too. The major red flag here is that he calls your friend his ‘friend’. That’s usually a way for guys to have their cake and eat it too. I remember meeting this guy at university who was always going off with my friend. At the same time, he’d be getting handsy with me. I found out months after that he’d been dating my friend the entire time. So awkward. And he was a relative nice guy too.

    Ugh, men… I hope it works out for your friend, though!


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