Every once in a while, we meet people who we just click with. Sometimes, it happens within the very first conversation you have with them; other times, it happens later on. But either way, something about them peaks your interest, and makes you want to be their friend.
We could count the different ways we make these friends, and the bonds we share with them—but in the end, it’s not about how you become friends. It’s how you maintain the friendship.
It’s actually a lot like being in a romantic relationship—except, you know, without the little details. We aren’t always born with these people already in our lives, bound to them by blood. We weren’t designed as pairs or grouped together, and they weren’t chosen for us. Instead, we roam around, and randomly cross paths with them, during the journeys we make.
And sometimes, we meet them early on in life. A lot of them we lose, due to changes in your everyday life, interests, and personalities. You grow out of each other, or things go wrong. And that’s okay, because if you’re lucky, some will come back later on.
Then there are the ones that stick around, and you get to grow up together: you grow into yourselves, and still find that your bonds don’t always have to change with the rest of your minds and lives. Sometimes they stay around for a very, very long time; and sometimes, even for the rest of your lives.
And then there are the guys you don’t meet until you’re older, and you can’t help but wonder, where the hell have you been? These guys aren’t any less important than the friends you’ve always had; you just sometimes have to learn a little more about each other in order to understand one another. And that can usually be fun, because you have a chance to show them your true colors without any judgments about who you are versus who you used to be.
There is no specific way to know who will be your best friend right off the bat; there is no algorithm or strategy to go about it. It’s all about the maintenance and the click. Like any other kind of relationship, you can lose the click at any time, but as long as both ends work on the relationship, there is no need for it to go away. But if one [or both] of the parties lose the energy to put maintenance in the friendship, it’s basically over.
The way that I look at it, it’s not about how or when we become friends, or how or when our relationship ends. It’s all about the journey, and the bond that holds. I have made many friends and acquaintances throughout my life, and although not many have stayed, I don’t look at any friendship I’ve had as fake or bad. I’ve actually always had a lot of good people in my life; I’ve never been one to surround myself with people that would even try to change me for the worse. And nobody has ever tried anything on me, which basically verifies that I made good choices when it came to making friends.
I find that we surround ourselves with different kinds of people in our lives for different reasons; we look to certain kinds of people to bring specific things into our lives. We befriend and count on funny people to give us laughter, sweet people to give us comfort, reckless people to push us out of our comfort zones, blunt people to set us straight, thoughtful people to make us feel like a priority. We surround ourselves with people that can give us what we need.
And for me, I mostly like to surround myself with those who can make me laugh. Which honestly, isn’t that hard to come by, since I’m easy to please. I used to laugh at spoon. I wouldn’t say that a good sense of humor is the most important thing to come by in a friend, but it’s definitely up there for me.
Just like how Tinkerbell needs people to believe in fairies, I need laughter in order to live. I can take care of myself when it comes to emotional support, but I’m not the funniest kid around. I’m so unfunny that I have to laugh at my own jokes, because if I don’t, nobody will. It takes a person with a certain je ne sais quoi to understand my humor.
The best kind of friend we come by isn’t the one that’s funny or sweet or pushes us out of our comfort zones. The best kind of friend is one that truly knows us and still loves us—even if we make them a little bit crazy. They deal with (and even sometimes apologize to others for) our unattractive traits, and commend us for our attractive ones. They are our personal cheerleaders, our co-captains, and sometimes, even our coaches. They are the people we call when something amazing happens to us, and the ones we cry to when it feels like our world is falling apart.
They’re always there for us, no matter the cost; because even though we don’t always come into this world bound together, we still end up finding each other, teaming up, and forming a bond that almost nothing could destroy. They don’t always have to like every little thing we say and do, but they still love us for the people we are. And even though they’re not always by our side, they’re still there for us, just as we are for them.
Prompt: What is more important in a friend: someone who makes you laugh, or someone who is always there for you?