Things I Could Never Do: An Anti-Bucket List

Writing about things that we want to do with our time is often easy. I can go on and on about the things I want for myself, for the people I love, and for this world. But then I thought: what about the stuff I don’t want? The things I don’t want to do, the person I don’t want to be? And then I thought, what if instead of making a bucket list, that I made an anti-bucket list?

So I did. I thought about some hard limits that I have, some things that scare me beyond barriers, some things that I wouldn’t dare to do. I threw them together, and came up with thirty things that I’d never do.

  1. Chase after someone who doesn’t show interest in me

    I’ve seen this happen way too many times before, and all it does is end in hurt feelings. I’ll pass.

  2. Stay in an abusive relationship

    Easier said than done, but I know abusiveness when I see it. The line should never get blurred, no matter how many feelings are involved. I don’t care if I’m in love with a guy, or consider someone my best friend; if they’re using me or abusing me in any way, for whatever reason, I’m out.

  3. Watch someone else get abused

    …And not say anything. If I don’t want that kind of thing for myself, why the hell would I want that for any of my friends or family to deal with, or even a perfect stranger?

  4. Jump out of a perfectly good airplane

    I’m no adrenaline junkie, and only adrenaline junkies and insane people jump out of planes that aren’t already going up in flames, or nose-diving into the ground.

  5. Bungee jump

    See above.

  6. Intentionally hurt someone I care about

    I feel like I shouldn’t even have to explain myself. I’m pretty sure only sadists do this, and I’m not into it.

  7. Drink and drive

    I mean, really? Nothing good comes out of drinking and driving, people!

  8. Go on a hot air balloon ride

    I have a problem with heights, and something tells me that being in a small space, hundreds of feet up into the air, not completely enclosed, would only lead to either an anxiety or heart attack.

  9. Smoke cigarettes

    Or anything that falls under the category of “the hard stuff”. I see no point in it.

  10. Swim with sharks

    So here’s the thing…swimming is a calming hobby for me. The last thing that I need is to worry about becoming a meal, even if I am inside a cage. Actually, the idea of just being in a cage doesn’t sound very appealing to me.

  11. Dye my hair any more blonde than it already is

    Or possibly ever again, in general. Honestly, it gets pretty light on its own in the summertime, and I just don’t think I could pull of a yellow or platinum blonde. Also, I’ve dealt with bleach before…Never. Again.

  12. Go white water rafting

    …again. I did this once before a long time ago, and I fell out of the boat…just as the photographer took our family picture. I still have the mental scars, but there is also a sequence of photos, somewhere around my house, of my adventure from halfway out the boat to my dad helping me back in.

  13. Have anything besides a dog or cat as a pet

    I have no interest in having anything else ever…unless if Siberian tigers or pandas suddenly become domesticated and affordable.

  14. Be a morning person

    Sometimes I believe that anything is possible, but I really have my doubts about this one.

  15. Admit when something is none of my business

    If an issue is brought up in front of me, it becomes my business; I just can’t help myself.

  16. Care about my height or skin tone

    …no matter how often I’m talked to about it. Yes, I’m short, and yes, I’m pale. I am well aware, and I literally could not care less; those things have never been a serious issue for me. I was built this way; the Irish just aren’t meant to tan, and I didn’t inherit the Breheny bean stalk gene.

  17. Be a bird lover

    They’re pretty to look at and learn about from a distance, but they are probably the most annoying animal on the planet (but also I might be biased because I’m really not a morning person…)

  18. Run up the stairs when the front door is right there

    It’s a classic move in horror films, and I yell at the screen every damn time I see it happen. Things may go over my head every once in a while, but God forbid I’m ever in that situation, I could never be that stupid.

  19. Turn down free food

    Okay, I might if it’s seafood or sushi or asparagus. But if it’s just about anything else, I’m eating it. There’s this little proverb that I learned growing up, and still live by today: if it’s for free, it’s for me.

  20. Drink coffee and enjoy it

    This may change with time, but I really doubt it, no matter how many Susans and Debbies and Kathys and Christines tell me that they didn’t like it until they were older, either.

  21. Go on another cruise

    Don’t get me wrong; I had a great time the one time I went, but I just don’t think that they’re for me. No matter how big the boat is, you can’t really go anywhere.

  22. Voluntarily go to Olive Garden

    The only things that place is good for are their salads and breadsticks; everything else is fake and subpar.

  23. Be embarrassed for being an advocate for Taco Bell

    Even if I do judge Olive Garden lovers like it’s nobody’s business. If I’m going to be honest, even I don’t understand why I love the food so much. The only thing I’m ever let down on is the Baja Blast Freeze [every once in a while] when they start running out of syrup. Otherwise, it’s great stuff.

  24. Get a piercing that’s not on my ears

    …so long as you don’t count the stud on my nose. Sure, I’ve wanted a tongue piercing, lip piercing, and eyebrow piercing, all at some point in the past, but I’ve grown out of that. I don’t judge others that want those kind of things, but I definitely can’t handle having them myself.

  25. Eat ice cream (or frozen yogurt), at night, in a dark car

    Real talk: it’s never a good idea.

  26. Abandon family

    In my opinion, family is too important to let petty things (i.e., political views, something stupid someone said five years ago) get in the way of maintaining relationships.

  27. Judge others based on political views, religious beliefs, race, or sexual orientation

    People are people, and these things don’t define them. As long as you’re nice, funny, and not a genocidal psychopath, we should be able to get along just fine.

  28. Apologize for what I believe in

    Because that’s what makes me the person I am, and I’m not going to apologize for being me. #sorrynotsorry

  29. Change who I am

    Unless there is something that I want to change. I won’t do it for others.

  30. Give up on my dreams

    Because they’re too important to me to give up. Sure, I’ve given up Princeton and marrying Harry Styles, but those are pipe dreams. I’m talking about traveling and seeing the Northern Lights and making a legacy I can be proud of.


Prompt: Make a list of thirty things that you will never do.

2 thoughts on “Things I Could Never Do: An Anti-Bucket List

  1. First of all. great title and unique take. My curiosity was piqued immediately. Secondly, I found this oddly empowering and affirming. I should try writing my own in the future. Great post!

    Liked by 2 people

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