Eye Contact

Holding eye contact with someone can be scary—especially when you’re shy. I’ve had a problem with looking people in the eyes for a long time, but I’ve been getting better at it. It’s hardly a problem for my anymore, because I’ve practiced by forcing myself to look people right in their corneas.

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Existing in Fear

Truthfully, I have plenty of fears; that’s why I don’t do much of anything. I fear failure and loss and impairment. And a lot of the time, that’s the number one thing that I hate about myself. I let the part of me that lives in fear take care of the part that craves recklessness and adventure. The stick-in-the-mud would rather I exist in a safe, comfortable state, than actually, really live, and deal with the lows that are sure to follow.

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The Way I Understand Things

In school, we all are forced to learn in similar ways, if not in the same exact way. And for a bunch of us, the way we are normally taught doesn’t help as well as another method would.

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The Liebster Award

What is the Liebster Award exactly? Well, I wasn’t sure, either, so I did some quick research. Turns out, it’s a huge thing that bloggers do to promote other bloggers—which, in my opinion, is super sweet. It gives everyone involved an equal opportunity to find more content to read, and to connect with others in the blogging community. And what kind of blogger wouldn’t want that?

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Daydreaming And Confused

You know what’s a weird feeling? Thinking about one event for so long that you’re no longer sure if it ever actually happened, or if it was just a dream.

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Expectations vs. Reality

When I was sixteen, I honestly thought that I had my whole life planned out. I’d go all the way through grad school for psychology, fall in love at some point, graduate cum laude, get a great job as a family therapist, get married, have four or five kids, maybe publish a couple fictitious YA novels, have a house built from the ground up, and live happily ever after. That was the plan, and I was sure, at the age of sixteen, that it would come true for me.

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Control: A Revelation

I guess you can say I’m a control freak. But then again, I feel like people are more controlling than they lead on. I think it has more to do with certainties and order than anything else; I like knowing what’s going to happen next, so I can make clear decisions. But life isn’t like that, and boy, do I know it. Everything is about chance and is ever-changing; the decisions we make change our paths constantly.

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That Thing

You know, I was always a very picky person; if you asked me what my “perfect” idea of a boyfriend/husband/whatever when I was a child (or even a teenager), I would have been able to tell you every little thing that I wanted. I can be really specific.

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Security Blanket

As you may or may not know, I spend just about every Wednesday at my mother’s house. And last week, we had to go to my old high school to pick up Heinrich from practice, and then shoot on over to bring Caitlyn to the dentist’s office. It was a much busier Wednesday night than usual.

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Just Spiritual

I’m not necessarily religious, I’m just spiritual. You know, I’ve felt that way a long time. I was baptized into the Catholic church, I took religion classes for however many years I needed in order to make my communion and confirmation sacraments, and I even go to mass every once in a while. A long while at that, but I still go.

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