the chronicles and imagination of Amanda hazard
At this point in my life, you are nonexistent. I can’t say that I don’t think about you, because that would be a lie. I can’t say that I haven’t thought about you for years, either, because that would also be a lie. I’ve thought about you before it was even physically possible to have you.
Read MoreI’m learning this all one step at a time, just like everybody else. I make tons of mistakes—more than I’d like to admit.
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Hey Dad, You know, I sometimes wonder if you still read my blog after that one time you decided to go through it. You were so persistent to find something about you, and I felt bad, because I didn’t really talk about you. Not because you don’t play a big role in my life, but because I […]
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I think that we have established that our relationship is an interesting one. As a baby, or even a child, I couldn’t tell if I was a Daddy’s or a Momma’s Girl—but if I had to guess, I was probably an Oma’s Girl. I don’t have too many memories of you from my baby years, which is totally ridiculous, since you’ve always been present.
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Hey Jo. You probably saw this post and thought, “well, it’s about time!” And I don’t blame you for that. I kind of made your letter last on purpose, because I knew that you are actually going to read yours. So I guess I’m kind of a sadist.
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If I’m going to be honest, these letters are getting harder to write. It was so easy to put down what I wanted to say to Cait and Heinrich because they’re teenagers, and I see them every day, so I know them really well as people. Brianna’s was the first hard letter to write because there’s a lot that I want to say to her, but there is also a lot that I can’t necessarily put out there for the public eye to see. Your letter—I am already one-hundred-percent sure of this, and I still have to write Joanne’s—is going to be the hardest one I have to write.
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Hey Bri, I bet you’re wondering why, of all things, I would call you my best frenemy. I think it’s pretty simple: you are always either my best friend or my worst enemy. We’re sisters and so close in age, that we literally grew up together. We went through a lot of shit together, and we know way too much information about each other. There really isn’t much else to it.
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